Author: Cindy

For anyone with a child challenged with autism, ADHD or developmental delays, take heart. God listens. God hears. God knows. And I join you in praying He reveals Himself in unique and special ways to your son or daughter.

 

Dear God,

I was so happy when I hopped onto the bus. I was pretending to be a frog. I like frogs. It took a long time to hop from one step onto the other. I don’t think the bus driver likes having frogs on his bus, though.

Then, Mr. Trumbull, the principal, walked down the hall while we were getting drinks at the water fountain. He had green shirt and pants on so I happily shouted down the hall, “Mr. Trumbull, you look like a frog today!” Mrs. Dunmoor shushed me and the other kids giggled like they always do. I don’t know why, because I didn’t say anything funny or mean – did I?

God, do the things I say bother You?

 

Dear ____________________________________(fill in the name)_,

I know it can be hard to “guard your tongue” – do you know what that means? It means not everything that comes into your mind needs to go out the door of your mouth. Some things need to stay inside – and you can just whisper them to Me, like a secret, just between us. I love when you talk to Me and am always ready to hear what you have to say.

 

 

Proverbs 21:23 He who guards his tongue and his mouth keeps himself from calamity.

 

Point to understand – Though we all have at times said things we wish we hadn’t, impulsiveness and not catching social ‘rules’ is not uncommon with those who have autism – and they often are perplexed as to the reactions they receive.

Once upon a time, when my son was young, there was little autism awareness. There was, however, much awareness of a growing number of children misbehaving in stores, churches, offices – but the conventional behavioral and discipline approaches did not work. And there was a lot of confusion, misjudgments and multiple opinions regarding this behavior. I can’t tell you the multiple times I heard, “If you would just…” with all kinds of recommendations. I felt constantly caught between him and the rest of the world – interpreting the world for him, interpreting him to the world (actually, at age 21 I still do). One night after a particularly difficult time of someone judging him (and me as his parent), I cried out to God. I wanted to honor my son who was essentially clueless; I also wanted to honor the individual – who was also clueless. And, I, though full of compassion and a desire to help, also felt clueless. I woke up early (approx 4 am) and sat down at the computer keyboard and began writing this letter. It truly felt like it was dictated to me. Maybe I was the interpreter of Jordon’s heart to God. Or His heart for Jordon. In any case, I hope it helps us to look at one another through the eyes of Love and Truth – God’s and God’s alone.

Dear God,

When You sent Your Son into our world, I’m told He was perfect in every way. He said “Let the children come to Me, and don’t forbid them, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.” Was He only talking about those children all around me that seem so much more “perfect” than me – You know who I mean. The ones who are quiet, well behaved, smart, funny, athletic – kind of like angels, I guess. Were there any kids like me in that crowd when He extended His invitation to come to Him – kind of rough around the edges, noisy, loud, awkward, slower to catch on, kids that stutter or mutter or cling or swing?
‘Cause if there were I’d really like to know.

Am I invited, too? Or am I “forbidden” through the disapproving looks and hushes of others. I know I’m different than most of the other kids. If I were there would He see past my impulsiveness and forgetfulness, my lack of social grace – would He give me a big hug and tenderly gaze into my face … and into my heart? Did He include me, too, since He made me anyway – or would He turn away and forget about me?

I’m really not the kind one can forget about. You put such love in my heart for people, I just want to reach out to others, but I don’t always see that reflected in their faces. Actually, sometimes it seems more like shadows than reflections. Is it reflected in Your Son, Jesus? Or in Your children who want to be like You? ‘Cause I’d really like to know.

Is heaven really made up of kids like me? Could Jesus have been thinking of me so long ago when He opened His arms and welcomed those children – looking past my today and into who I can become? Mom tells me that’s what “grace” means (and I thought it meant praying before we get to eat!) It would mean so much to me to know if I’m just tolerated or really accepted, blunders and all, and truly welcomed with open arms. Is there room for me?
‘Cause it would mean all the world to me … and I’d really like to know.

Thanks for listening, God,
Jordon

P.S. Mom also told me You’re preparing a big banquet when we’re there with You. Do You think there could be spaghetti and meatballs? (they’re my favorite) … sorry for all the questions. It’s just that I’d really like to know…
… I really need to know….

To begin with, I would like to update you. This past week after Don’s surgery has been quite a rough one. The surgery on Monday was deemed successful and we are looking forward to experiencing what was accomplished in the flesh to become manifest and felt in Don’s breathing. That has not yet taken place because he has a cough which impedes his breathing deeply and sends him into a painful spasm. The surgical pain has not decreased as expected. He was discharged on Wednesday, but I took him to the local ER on Thursday night because the meds were giving him hives, so the meds were switched. The new meds had little to no effect on his pain level. By yesterday, he was experiencing chills, pain, increased coughing and no rest or comfort. I was concerned about pneumonia. Back to the ER where they were able to manage his pain and sent him by transport back to Hershey Medical Center. He will have fluid drawn out at 2 pm today.

When the city came into view, he wept over it. “If you had only recognized this day, and everything that was good for you! But now it’s too late. In the days ahead your enemies are going to bring up their heavy artillery and surround you, pressing in from every side. They’ll smash you and your babies on the pavement. Not one stone will be left intact. All this because you didn’t recognize and welcome God’s personal visit.” Luke 19:44 MSG

visitation – episkopeo – epi “on, appropriately fitting,” which intensifies skopé?,”look intently” – properly, oversight that naturally goes onto provide the care and attention appropriate to the “personal visitation.”

I’ve been pondering these words and the anguish of Jesus as He looked over Jerusalem on His journey toward the Cross. In the most basic sense, they missed the opportunity to recognize the One True God standing among them daily, teaching, warning, correcting, ministering, feeding body and spirit, healing, etc. He was the visual, auditory, tangible expression of the God Most High, the One prophesied about and longed for. And somehow – they missed their opportunity to see it. To see HIM.
Before I stand in judgment and shake my head in wonder (especially since I can quickly read the events in a matter of moments what they experienced for centuries before this day of visitation), I wonder what I have missed. It seems the Scripture often points out truths in tension, and brings to the surface the tensions that exist within my own heart.

Looking at the everyday, ‘minor’ details and missing the BIG picture of His visiting. To get caught up in the doctor’s visits and opinions, the diagnostic tests and often just feeling like I’m on autopilot for the next thing sets my sights pretty low. To miss the sacred in the ordinary is something I don’t want to miss. I can be ‘like Mary’ in getting caught up in details and miss that Jesus is sitting in my house while I rush around to serve. God has a big picture in all of this and I don’t want to miss it, to not ‘scope’ and in-spect and investigate it and grasp its meaning close to my heart. I don’t want to pass by and just see it in retro-spect in the rearview mirror.
(Cindy: Not sure what more to handle here, Lord. It feels so overwhelming at times. God: I AM handling it, Cindy. Nothing is too hard or big for Me. Notice the wheelchair escort who just happened to be in the elevator when you and your mom were going up and she was tired of walking? I arranged the timing of that small thing that was huge for your mom. Let me handle the details. Just notice them and know they are sent special delivery)

Looking at the big picture and missing Him in the details. The things prophesied were very often very specific in nature, yet often fuzzy and open to speculation as to how, when, etc. In setting their sights on what the Messiah would look like, they missed Him standing in their midst, opening His arms to gather us them a mother hen. When I set my sights on my expectations of what this day or season should look like, I miss Him in the details, the touch of His hand, the warmth in His eyes, the protection of His wings.
(Cindy: With all the people in this huge hospital with life-and-death cliffs before them, lots of pain, and I ask You for a ‘good parking place’? Sorry for my pettyness, Lord! God: Yes, Cindy, bring all your requests to Me – I AM in the big and the small details. Nothing is too small for Me)

Lord, may I set my eyes on You today, seeing You in the details and not missing the big picture of what You are seeking to accomplish in all of this, that seems random, that feels hard, that is uncomfortable. May I see you through the microscope of the smallest detail and know it is not random. May I scope Your hand in the telescope and see the vastness of Your grace, power, and love. May I find comfort in the shadow of Your wings and hear Your voice in the details. Thank You that You are with me in this opportunity to experience You anew. And may the Jesus in me be the ‘visitation opportunity’ for others to see and experience You today. Amen

His parents said to him, “Isn’t there a woman among the girls in the neighborhood of our people? Do you have to go get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?” But Samson said to his father, “Get her for me. She’s the one I want—she’s the right one.(His father and mother had no idea that God was behind this, that he was seeking an opportunity against the Philistines. At the time the Philistines lorded it over Israel.)” Judges 14:3,4

So as I continue walking through Judges with the children of Israel, I come to the life of Samson. But what is this?! God is ‘seeking an opportunity’ in a fairly unconventional place, (dare I say, un-orthodox way), through a very vulnerable heart. The heart of a set-apart Nazarite, claimed by God from before birth. A heart attracted to … a Philistine! What an awkward situation for Samson’s parents. Heart-breaking. How would I view this if I were his mom? Based on the clear calling of Samson to be kept pure as a Nazarite, is there any way this could turn out well?

No doubt that God looks for opportunities in less-than-ideal ways. In hidden places, in hard places. In ways we just don’t see it, or understand it. There is no place that does not present itself as an occasion for Him to reach down and stir up the waters. There is no limit to His desire to creatively interact with His image-bearers, and to use us in mighty ways. There is no end to the degree He longs to provide us with an encounter, no boundary to the lengths He will go to reveal Himself so that we can experience deep relationship with Him.

One wonders if He might just be seeking out opportunities especially in challenging nooks, dark places, so-called gray areas so that He can bring light and life and victory there? Does Don’s sickness supply Him with such an opportunity? Hardships? Seriously, could there be there any place that is not an opportunity for His will to be done on earth as in heaven? Sickness or health, weakness or strength, highs and lows, everyday routines or out-of-the-ordinary ones. All are sacred opportunities.

During this Lent season, as I reflect on the journey of Christ to the cross, I observe others also seeking opportunities – opportunities to betray, lie against and kill Him. Satan himself is like a roaring lion, seeking opportunities to devour God’s people. Every day the same opportunities are present to either fall into the hands of the one who comes to kill, steal and destroy – or be used as a vessel in the Hand of the Living God for life and wholeness and display of His splendor. And we are allowed to have the choice by the attitude or focus we choose, complete with our vulnerabilities and weaknesses! What a privilege and entrustment, when so much weighs in the balance. When we get to Heaven we will see things so much differently!

My desire is to be so aware of the slightest breath of Your Spirit so that my heart is fertile ground providing You to make the most of the opportunity You look for. I join You in looking for opportunities as I walk through this day. Open my eyes, Lord, to see as You do. “For the eyes of Yahweh roam throughout the earth to show Himself strong for those whose hearts are completely His.” May I be counted among them! May Your searching eyes find a place in my life today. Today, as I open my mouth I want You to find an opportunity to display Your words of wisdom, life, hope, love and truth. I pray Ephesians 5:16 that I may “redeem the time” making a wise and sacred use of every opportunity for doing good, seizing every opportunity You provide, knowing there is more purpose than I can possibly see. All places are holy ground. All opportunities are offered to You to redeem for Your glory.

Our family has been on a journey, beginning three years ago rather suddenly. It wasn’t a journey we anticipated and planned for, but was more like being suddenly whisked on a train we didn’t seek out and have no idea of the destination. Many questions have abounded, among them – What did we do to get on this train? How can we get off? There have been occasional vistas and sunlight, but it is remarkably fraught with dark tunnels and startling twists and turns. There is much we do not know. What we do know is Who is the Engineer. And we have gotten to know this Engineer even more deeply as He has continuously shared of Himself along the way. He has journeyed with us. And that has made all the difference.

Don’s joy has been to mentor and teach leaders in ministry and the marketplace home and abroad since 1995. On mission through Teaching The Word, he has ministered among the tribal pastors, widows, orphans and lepers multiple times in India, bringing the Word of truth, presence, encouragement, supplies. And, of course, Hope. But in early 2012, he awoke with searing pain in his extremities. It was relentless, causing lack of sleep and sending us on the trek seeking answers and relief from the pain. There have been many times of discouragement, misdiagnosis, feelings of isolation, weariness and unanswered questions as we continue along in the darkness. Many changes were brought about due to this in schedules, needs, outlook, etc. Besides this chronic mystery illness, other crises have arisen. Don and I have journaled the journey it in http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/donriker/journal But also along this journey, God has shown up in lots of ways, bringing to us His truth, His Presence, encouragement, provision – and Hope. Through His word. through His Body. Through His Spirit. Finally, the cause of his physical symptoms was rightly diagnosed late 2013. In the US, it is called Hansen’s Disease. In other places around the world, it is known as leprosy. Yes… you read it right.

However we have discovered today’s leprosy differs much from the kind you read of in the Bible. It is known as the ‘least contagious of all contagious diseases” as 95% of us have a natural immunity to it. Don is among the 5% who can contract it. Good news – It is curable! As a bacilli that invades the nerves and lives there parasitically, it can be eradicated with the use of antibiotics. Because it wasn’t officially diagnosed until almost 2 years since the onset of symptoms, we are praying that the damage will be reversible.

“You are cured. There is no live leprosy in your system. Now you just need to be healed.”
These words were spoken by the top-notch doctor in Baton Rouge, just a month ago. I have pondered her distinction. After three years, Don’s system is no longer being bombarded by the leprosy mycobacterium. His immune system has been reacting to the inactive (dead) remnant of cells, believing them to still be harmful and therefore on full alert. It makes me wonder at how I have been forgiven for sins, yet the enemy of my soul would have me to believe it still has power over me – yet it doesn’t. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who dwells in me. Or how often we suspiciously eye other members in the Body of Christ, often ‘dividing’ itself into various ‘camps’, treating one another as though they were the enemy, and taking our eyes off the true enemy. In my mind I can see many parallels.

But in my heart, I am grateful to hear Don is cured and though we are not ‘out of the woods yet’, we are on a path of healing! The enemy parasite can no longer harm him. He is being healed, made whole.
Luke 17 records another interesting distinction as 10 lepers were healed by Jesus and sent to be verified by the priests.
Verse 14 – “…as they went they were cleansed (to make clean by curing)
Verse 19 – To the one who returned, glorifying God and thanking Jesus, He said, “Get up and go on your way. Your faith (your trust and confidence that spring from your belief in God) has restored you to health.” (from ‘sozo’ – to save, heal, preserve, rescue, make whole) There was something additional that he received besides physical healing. Wholeness!

It is wholeness that we have desired and earnestly pray toward. And we are witnesses of it occurring. As I write, his pain levels have become more bearable. And he is able to sleep through the night so his body can repair and regenerate. So just like the man with leprosy, one among nine, who returned and fell at Jesus’ feet, I offer a heart loaded and overflowing with thanksgiving and glorifying God. As I read Psalm 30, there are many ways I can even more deeply identify with David. “Weeping has endured for the night; shouts of joy come in the morning.” Psalm 30:5. Can you hear it?!
And I am also thankful for many who have not drawn back, but have faithfully traveled along with us – bringing presence, truth, encouragement, provision and hope.

Thank You, Lord, for the honor and glory You receive from this, for those who can benefit from this testimony, for wisely leading your people experientially through difficulties so that many comforts can be shared on a deeper level and many praises can be lifted high up to you.
For the faithfulness You continue to show in the midst of this. For revealing Your goodness through your Body, through circumstances, through the promptings of the Spirit.
We pray You will continue repairing Don’s body. We don’t know to what degree the damage will be reversed, but we praise You, not to get the results we want, but because You are worthy of our praise and adoration.

“I want my every inhale infused with His presence, my every exhale an extension of His love.” Margaret Feinberg, Sacred Echo

Black lives matter. I couldn’t agree more. It was impressive to see whites standing (or rather, laying down) with blacks at the Park City mall as a sign of unity. “Surely He taught us to love one another, His law is love and His gospel is peace….”  Every black life snuffed out in fly by shootings, whether the gun holder’s hand is white or black, matters. Statistically, black babies are aborted at four times the rate of white babies. Each of these black lives matter. These victims cannot speak so we must speak for them.

By expanding it to all lives matter does not take away or devalue any people group, but rather increases the beauty of each individual life, no matter the origin, no matter the difference. We have the beauty of life as our most precious common denominator – each and every breathing individual carries life within and has needs for love, security, significance, purpose.

My mother’s family fled Germany as Hitler, seeking to extinguish the entire Jewish people, rose to power. This immigrant family sought to make a new life here amidst suspicions based solely on the fact that they were German. I live in an area rich with history of peoples who came to America to escape persecutions and death due to their beliefs. Black Africans were brought to America (and other countries) and sold as chattel, many living miserable lives under evil owners who stripped them of their dignity. Many others were treated favorably. The ones empowered to help (abolitionists, conductors in the Underground railroad, even up to President Lincoln) were white and at risk to their own lives and security, sought to restore the dignity and rescue those in slavery. Because black lives matter. Because life matters no matter what the color of the wrapping.  Although black slavery was abolished, the haunting spirit of slavery still lives on and humans, no matter what color, are seen as a resource and trafficked worldwide.

Prejudice abounds. It abounds in small minds, in small, insecure hearts. Human nature in its lowest form will look down upon those who are ‘different’. My son with autism faces it. He, like DeBlasio’s son, is biracial. I, both as a woman, and in the over-fifty range face a degree of ‘pre-judging’. Sexism, ageism, even those overweight. Now prejudice abounds against those in uniform. But having a sit-in will not restore dignity to people. Respect comes from the action of not returning evil for evil and stooping to the level others place value upon. Respect for self, towards others, and from others comes from rising up in grace and heroic action. Now freed through the conscience and efforts of decent people, the former slave victims can now rise as victors and make a life that shows dignity and value. Rather than being slaves to the past, it is time to hitch our hopes and values and dreams into a future that is founded on respect, love, dignity. I don’t want to settle for ‘awareness’ (and aren’t we all pretty much aware?), but for acknowledgement and turning our energy for positive action rather than retaliation or escalation. Lets escalate in a revolution of grace and love.

1 – “Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother” (O Holy Night carol). We have awareness that there still exists slavery TODAY in many forms, but awareness is not enough. Get involved. It is a growing evil that will continue until we stand in unity and say ‘enough’. Be a hero to someone else. We can heroically restore dignity in our generation. Let that be our goal. Let that be what future generations will note as our legacy and live in that freedom.

2 – Visit another church if yours doesn’t have diversity. Invite a family into your life, one that is ‘different’ than yours. Lets build some bridges!!

3 – How about learning a new language? Spanish? English? One of the chains that could bring us together is communication. Beyond this, however, is the universal language of love. How about some random acts of kindness? Bring some donuts to the police station. Pay for the coffee of the person behind you, or the groceries of the person in front of you. Pay with the grace card. Kindness and grace speaks a universal language of love. Let it begin with me.

4 – “In His Name all oppression shall cease…” Recognize that it is not the color of skin or uniform that separates us but the darkness that exists in our own hearts. It is universal. That is the place change needs to occur. The self-protection, self-promotion, self-interest, self-seeking puts filters on our eyes splinters in our hearts, and separates us. Wrongly separates because all human nature is blighted by it and though we long for peace we discover that “… hate is strong and mocks the song of peace on earth, good will to men.” (I Heard the Bells carol) That’s because we ourselves are slaves – to ourselves and to the evil that lies within each of us. But the true hope is found not in a platform, cause or creed but in the One True Hope that we celebrate especially this season. He came to save us from ourselves!! From our own agendas, by seeking His peace, His life, His forgiveness, His way. The way of Peace from the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. Peace will only reign outside of us when it reigns inside of our hearts and changes our thinking – outward, outside of ourselves. Then the true hero can rise up and find creative ways to lift up our brothers and sisters, restoring dignity as it was meant from the beginning of creation.

“Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!”

 

God, I don’t understand. What are You saying?

You are here.

 Here?

Yes. Here.

 But where is ‘here’? It’s blank. Usually when I see this sign it is in relation to more information, like restrooms, first aid, distance to goal, landmarks. Something somewhere.

Yes. I know. You are on a need-to-know basis.

 But I need to know!

No. I need to know, and I do. You want to know.

 So….where am I? Where is here?

Here. You tell me. Where are you?

 Feels like nowhere. A place of unknowing, pain, stress, loss. Questions. In-between-ness. What is ahead for Don? When will You heal him? What is ahead for him – for our family…..?

Lift your eyes and zoom out. Where are you, Cindy?

I am….in the palm of Your hand. In safety. By design.

Yes. Keep going.

And …You are here. With me.

Yes, my child. Always. In this place. I am in the midst of it all with you. In the midst of life and all it brings. Here. Now. I AM HERE. You desire Me to be with you and I am Immanuel, “God-with-us”.  I desire you to be HERE with Me.

Abide here.

That’s all you need. There are many examples of My followers who had no map. Think of Mary. She did not see the completed book, knowing what was ahead. It was for her also a place of unknowing, pain, stress, loss. Questions. She faithfully accepted My hand and I led her each day. She gave birth to My Son, raised Him, released Him. And received Him back in newness of life. You see that now, but she lived one day at a time without the landmarks and distance to a goal arrows.

Think also of a child, living in the present without the concerns of the next thing. Fully present in what is in front of them. Trusting.

I will reveal more to you as you need it. Don’t look anxiously about you, seeking more or you’ll miss Me HERE. Take My hand. Rest in My palm. Where you are, where I AM.

You are here……………and so am I.

Thank You, Lord, for your with-ness in this place. I will abide with You here. Thank You for examples in life, examples in Your Word. Like Mary, I respond, be it unto me according to Your word. You are the Word, Living Word with me here in this place. Though I wait in this “holding pattern,”  I am comforted to know it is Yours, and I am held, tucked in the palm of Your hand.

 

 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
Isaiah 41:10

Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.

Psalm 37:4 Amplified

I have experienced much change and loss, especially since the fall of 2011. Events occurring so fast and piling up one upon another without me having much chance to really process. Because I take people deep into my heart some separations geographically and emotionally have pained deeply. Then, of course, having my Dad and sister’s deaths within just over a year of one another leave another separation, gaps in my heart. So over the past 3+ years, there has been loss in relationships, ministry, opportunities, and dreams/expectations of the future as Don has been battling this disease and all it represents – to see him in pain and not be able to help, to go to doctor after doctor, testing and possible therapies, only to have nothing bring relief. I’ve taken off work and rescheduled all types of meetings/appointments/gatherings to be able to go with him, be an extra ear, an extra shoulder, to support him and so we can process together.

So to top it off, it felt especially compacted since/through this summer. My burst appendix, sprained foot, sister’s passing, Karisa leaving for YWAM, Mom falling and getting horribly bruised, Don’s medical leave of absence…compounded by all the things involved in Don’s health. While my mom was visiting my brother I mentioned to Don I’d like to get away for a day since his doctor appointment wasn’t until the end of that week. I needed time to ponder, even grieve. Maybe I could tag a few hours one evening and a few the next day where my schedule was clear. He suggested 2 possible retreat places because he knows I love nature and walks in the woods. It was kind of ironic because I feel like I’ve been in a dark forest with tree after tree in front of me and I can’t see the forest for the trees. I said I needed a clearing, that I’d really love a chalet with a broad window to let the sunlight in, above the trees with a clear and open view. He asked where would that be? “Switzerland, I guess. Can I go there for a day?” So we chuckled and I put it out of my mind and planned to call either of those two places. The following day I mentioned my ‘open schedule’ and plan to get away on a personal mini-retreat to a friend. She suggested the same two places, so I told her I was planning to call. I didn’t tell her about my chalet desire, so was speechless when she exclaimed, “Or what about the Alpine House?” I stared at her totally mystified. “Alpine House? In Lancaster County?” She looked it up on her phone. It’s a beautiful A-frame that has a view over the river. And it’s the picture God dropped into my heart! And my friend took it upon herself to make all the arrangements for me! A double gift!

Only God could put my chalet in Lancaster County! He dropped the desire into my heart and was delighted to fill it. And I had a lovely time with Him over that brief time. Brief but full. Full of life, full of breathing freely. Only God could take something that has been ongoing for a period of time, and yet fill it in such a short period of time. It defies mathematics! I didn’t need to pull out each individual event and lay it before Him – He just gave me more of Himself. Refilling and refreshing and renewing. Clearing out the dark forest in my head and shining His light in!

Though feeling greatly undeserving, the overwhelming feeling was I felt heard. Loved. Things of course I know, but felt desperate to be reminded in a tangible way. An only-God way.

Thank You for Your unique, unmistakeable touches on my life, Lord, reminders that You are with me, wanting to be with me. That You are for me. That You go be-fore me. That You know the need of my heart before I can even express it –or imagine it with my limited view. Thank You for Your presence surrounding me. May I be ever aware and not miss a single fingerprint, a single sunbeam. I offer this praise and pray it will lift the eyes and spirit of others who need a unique sense of Your presence and love for them.

 

‘Where is God, Mom? I can’t see Him…” I’ve heard this when Jordon was young, and yet at age 20 it still disturbs him. And it distresses me, too, to hear this, for the greatest desire of my heart for Jordon is for him to be able to relate to the God who created him for relationship and with great purpose.

I have often referred to autism as the great magnifier, for whatever we typically experience as individuals tends to become expanded in the lives and perspectives of those who have autism. Jordon is no exception. As we all do, he relies upon his five senses to give him information to guide him. He relies heavily, and he relies solely upon them. His is a black-and-white type of world, and he has difficulty in accepting what he cannot see, or taste, touch, smell or hear.

So I tell him to feel his breath. When God created Adam, He breathed His very breath into him, and he became alive. That breath is passed down every time a child is born and takes its first breath. We are carrier of the breath of God in our own body. God cannot get even closer to us – to him!

But, how, Lord, can he see You, the greatness and majesty of the Unseen One? How can he relate to you? Please reveal Yourself to him in tangible ways and develop his spiritual senses.

“Where am I evident on earth, Cindy? I am displayed in all of nature, and felt in flesh and blood through My children.”

Please magnify Yourself through my life and the lives of those who relate to Jordon, Lord, so He can have a tangible and concrete knowing of You.

And so God answers. He has moved upon several in our church who have sought out Jordon and been Jesus to him – accepting him, hugging him, feeding him (definitely a path to his heart), leading by example. And so Jordon experiences the touch and love of God in very tangible ways. They are Jesus on display, exhibited and magnified in the flesh.

And God, the Great Magnifier, also does His revealing work when we arrive at Joni and Friends camp. He becomes visible from the moment we drive on the campground as people gather to cheer our arrival. He is evidenced in the open acceptance of the buddy prayerfully assigned to be with him throughout the week. What may be merely ‘tolerance’ felt elsewhere, is experienced as love and acceptance and permeates each interaction – a tasting, hearing, smelling, seeing, and feeling of a bit of Heaven on earth.

When we go to Joni and Friends family camp, it truly is like Heaven on earth. He is not just tolerated, not just accepted, but he is embraced as one who can also offer something of value to the Body of Christ. He is known for his strengths, his gifts, and can feel the image of God within himself as he is valued. He is needed. He is loved. We all come aware of our brokenness and we are all on even ground. Acceptance is freely offered, gratefully received. Wholeness is discovered in our brokenness. A taste of Heaven on earth. And such grieving Jordon experiences as we return to ‘the real world.’

Statistics reveal that one in 68 people have a form of autism, so Jordon is not alone in his need to ‘see’ Jesus and be touched by Him. Those with autism greatly magnify what we all need – to experience Jesus with skin on. And so the challenge goes out to each of us.

How can we reveal the God-made-flesh today?

 

If you’d like more info re Joni and Friends, please go to www.joniandfriends.org