Hear my prayer expressed from the depths of my soul and lifted to You in a form not unlike Habakkuk 3:17-19. A prayer acknowledging my perspective and somewhat of a lament. A prayer looking at the waves, not wanting to sink and looking to You beckoning to me – and reaching for Your outstretched Hand. Toward me. Inviting me. Lifting me. Holding me.
Even though in reality we daily we deal with Don’s chronic condition, where:
-the pain is persistent both day and night with no consistent relief in sight (consistently persistent, but not persistently consistent);
-griefs are more than I can say as life’s dreams and lost opportunities fade with each passing day;
-I’ve lost count of things, people and plans I’ve had to let go, wanting to say yes, but needing to say no
-feelings of isolation are compounded by those who are well-meaning but lack well-understanding. (Yet how could they? We each have our own path to travel and others travel paths of suffering, the reality of which I truly cannot imagine)
– energy and time wanes though duties wax and pile high, bringing with them another deep weary soul sigh
– seemingly endless trips to the doctor or Emergency Room produce not answers ….. but more questions;
HOWEVER ———— Troubles within or without – it matters not.
This is my declaration of trust and hope in You alone.
BECAUSE of this I will choose to draw near, sending roots deep into the soil of faith,
DESPITE this I will choose to feed on the manna of Your Word
ALTHOUGH THIS challenge is wearying I choose to call upon Your grace which is deeper, stronger and all encompassing,
EVEN SO I choose to listen to Your voice above the thunderous storm, above the threatening doubts and fears
SO…. I whole-heartedly declare
YET WILL I TRUST YOU –
I choose to rejoice in You, the Lord and the God of my salvation.
I choose to rest my wavering hope on the absolute, unshakable truth that You, God, are my Helper, my shield, my strength.
I choose to set my eyes upward as You alone are the Wise and purposeful One Who holds the answers to the questions, You hold me to comfort in the dark and early morning hours; You alone gather my tears, abate my fears, renew my strength physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.
I will set my heart and hope and wait on You – YOU are God alone.
On this truth I stand. I am Yours, YOU are mine and I am kept safely by Your Hand, in Your Hand – a Hand that is always purposeful, eternally loving, tirelessly mighty and flawlessly tender. Held together by You. Held together with You.