Yesterday I lost my sister to ovarian cancer. She fought a good fight. Fought with undaunted courage and with resolute faith. She did all the ‘right’ things (prayer, chemo, clinical trial, healthy, organic foods, alternative methods) yet succumbed to this ravaging disease. Succumbed but not surrendered. Her surrender was reserved for her God Who in His sovereignty would have the final say. And He said, ‘Come Home to Me, My precious daughter, good and faithful one.“ Her heart in life and in death was to glorify God. Through her prayers. Through her teaching. Through her music. Through her life. And now she can enjoy His presence, His delight – HIM – forever.
After hanging up the phone upon receiving this final word from my niece, I broke down sobbing. Even after a year of grieving the floods could not be held back. I sent Don over to Mom’s so she would be ready for the phone call and he would be with her through it. I could not, both because I was overcome myself and because I was on crutches and limited in my walking.
So it was only Jordon and I here at home. He looking at the iPad, me sobbing uncontrollably. Suddenly I felt a hand on my head. Jordon’s hand. Awkwardly he asked, “Should I get Dad, Mom? I don’t know what to do.” I gave him something concrete to do, to please get me some tissues. After locating them, he came back and placed his hand on my shoulder and began to share some childhood memories of Heidi. How did he know what to do? You may not be aware, but I generally have to script things for him because he is awkward in emotional or social settings due to his autism. But I hadn’t said a word. I couldn’t.
Then out of his mouth came the most appropriate words I can imagine from anyone, not expected in a twenty-year old, and certainly not one with autism. “Aunt Heidi gets to be in heaven with Jesus now; I can’t wait to be there someday too.”
I stopped sobbing to look up through wet lashes and see if an angel had suddenly appeared. Jordon had spoken straight from his spirit –The Spirit– to my heart.
Done with his message delivery, Jordon went back to his iPad……….and I sat in sacred silence.